The Shy Wife’s Guide to Sexting

Learning how to sexting your husband can be a game-changer in your intimacy. I have had friends ask me “How can I seduce my husband through text?” So I made this guide to help rekindle your marriage.

You’ve been married a while. It’s bedtime. You and your husband settle into the bed. And he says, “So you wanna?” Ugh. Yes, that just makes you want to jump his bones huh? You already know if you say “yeah” that sex is going to be formulaic. He does that thing you like, you do that thing he likes and you do the deed before passing out facing away from each other. So frustrating.

Trust me my relationship used to be there. Now, even after 13 years of marriage, my husband and I are like newlyweds again, only better because we aren’t drawing the map, we know each other inside and out. And I can’t keep my hands off of him. And when he is at work he is texting me that he is thinking about me. Our secret… sexting.

Let’s face it. Sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. If you wait for the bedroom to start the mood, you’re going to fall asleep before it gets to anything. Or worse it’s going to be the same old same old. And maintenance sex is almost a necessity over time, but it shouldn’t be your only sexy time. That would like having ramen for every meal. Bleh. Sexting before you are ever together is like preheating the oven.

Start Slow

If you aren’t comfortable texting extremely risque texts. Try something simple and sweet. What is something non-sexual you do in bed? Flirt with your husband a bit. Instead of spelling it out, say something like, “I wish we were cuddling in our bed.” or “3 things I need tonight: a glass of wine, my soft pants and you.” It does not have to be explicit to get your husband’s attention and convey that you need more from him.

Timing is Everything

Try texting him something at different times. The human brain loves surprises, it works harder to deal with unexpected stimuli. A sexy text at work feels wrong and dirty and so hot. Sending a sexy picture when you know he zoned out playing video games, boom game over. I like to send my husband one line texts when we are out with family or chilling on the couch.

Text Blitzing with a Cliff Hanger

Text blitzing is sending a bunch of text with incomplete thoughts that add up to a complete thought. A fun thing to do is to text the entire blitz but leave the last text off until the last text has been read for about 10-15 minutes. Anticipation is such an aphrodisiac. Here is an example of a text blitz I sent my husband at the beginning of his break. I’ll let your imagination fill in the rest.

Text message block. 
From her: 
Line one: Babe
Line two: I can't wait
Line three: For you
Line Four: To get home
From him: 
Line one: Me too
From her again: 
Line one: After we put the kids 
Line two: To bed
Line Three: And you pull me close
Line Four: I feel your lips
Line five: On

Play Would You Rather?

This one is really fun. Instead of sending him a text message of what you want him to do or what you want to do to him. Send him two options of something you want to do. Would you rather role-play or try a new toy? Would you rather play with whip cream or chocolate sauce?

Play Sexy Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare is a favorite game of mine and my husband. Problem is we can only get through a few rounds before things get hot and heavy.

Borrow from your Favorite Author

Many women have been told their entire lives that their sexual urges are wrong, dirty or sinful. Many of us have a hard time finding sexy words to send our partner. If you really cannot come up with something sexy, borrow some words from your favorite erotica to text him. Make it yours by changing the wording to sound more like you.

Don’t use words that make you feel cringy

Getting comfortable sending sexy texts to your husband is never going to happen if you use words that make you feel gross. Use words that you typically do in the bedroom. If you don’t call a penis a cock, then don’t do it. Trust me your guy will fill in the blanks. You can get him turned on by sending vague wording as much as you could being explicit.

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